Effective Communication and Goofiness
Biofeedback technology is, for me, the ultimate symbol of what is most wonderful about our culture in this age and, in another way, what is most goofy about our culture in this age.
Biofeedback technology is any technology that enables us to observe physical functions. It includes everything from the stethoscope to the polygraph machine (popularly known as the "lie detector") to electronic equipment that tracks heart rates and brain waves.
Biofeedback technology is mainly used for diagnostic purposes in medicine, but it can also be used therapeutically to help us learn to mentally control physical functions. Biofeedback technology has been used effectively as therapy for a wide range of illnesses, including erratic heart-rate, hypertension, migraine, gastrointestinal disorders, asthma, neuromuscular disorders and epilepsy. Thus biofeedback technology is a wonderful and helpful advance in science.
"So what is 'goofy' about biofeedback technology?" you may well ask. And I may well answer that what is goofy is that we use machinery as an intermediary between our minds and bodies. Studies have shown that what Westerners can learn to do using biofeedback technology, Eastern mystics -Yogis and Buddhist monks -learned to do through meditative disciplines without mechanical mediation. In other words, it is possible for the mind to communicate directly with the body without technology, but our culture had to invent external devices to realize that possibility.
To realize how goofy that is, consider an analogous hypothetical situation. Suppose a culture that couldn't develop interpersonal communication until it developed technology for the telephone. People could not communicate with each other until they developed an intermediary technology!
That brings to mind another wonderful and goofy technological development - personal computers. On the internet we can now communicate with people all over the world who share common interests or have information we seek. This is a wonderful development with tremendous practical possibilities.
On the other hand, every increase in communication technology and efficiency is also an increase in miscommunication and hostile communication technology and efficiency. Whereas before the internet, we could only miscommunicate with friends, co-workers and acquaintances, now we can miscommunicate with millions of strangers all over the world. Whereas before the internet, verbally abusive people had to limit their abuse to a relatively small circle of family and acquaintances, now they can abuse strangers all over the world. In fact, there is already a term in “computerese” for verbal abuse on the internet; it's called "flaming." "Flaming" crosses over from the realm of the merely goofy into the realm of dangerous negativity.
I don't think goofiness is bad. In fact I'm grateful for human goofiness. It gives us common ground for laughter and keeps us humble. We can only grow and develop through humility; those who think they know everything, cannot learn anything. On the other hand, I believe that hostility and abuse are bad, in that they can unnecessarily cause human suffering.
There are really only two requirements for good communication: (1) accurate, non-hostile expression and (2) accurate, non-hostile listening.
Of those two requirements, accurate, non-hostile listening is the more essential and the more difficult. Listening requires receptivity not only to words being said (or signed or written), but also receptivity to tone of voice, facial expression, body language and especially the intentions of the speaker. When you understand what someone is trying to communicate, even though their words do not accurately express their intentions, then you are doing good listening.
The requirements for good communication with others apply equally to good communication with our own bodies.
We need focus receptive attention on what our bodies are "telling us." If we pay attention, our bodies can tell us they need food, a change of diet, relaxation, sleep, exercise, affection or an appointment with a physician or therapist.
We can also speak or think to our bodies accurately, without hostility. Even if we don't like how our bodies look or feel, they still need our love and acceptance. Myrtle Fillmore, co-founder of Unity, found healing by recognizing her body as a temple of the Holy Spirit and speaking healing affirmations to it. Good communication has a healing effect on mind, body and relationships. There's nothing goofy about that.